The Mosaic of you... by KMH Sagrada Familia, Barcelona
A love affair with yourself, what would it look like? A relationship of any kind with anyone is made up of so many things, but often a few things stand out. The way they smile at you, how they hold your hand, their laugh, or their eyes. Also attributes that you don’t think you have so you see it in them: their self confidence, humor, ability to see the bright side of a situation or being strong in places you feel doubtful. Discover these things about yourself; if you’re having a hard time ask some trusted friends about the things they love about you; anything to start to see the wonderful things about yourself.
When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there. ~Cecil Selig
As I have said before the categories on the Wheel of Life can be an amazing tool for self-knowledge, self-improvement, building self-love and ultimately a basic start of a map to a fulfilling life. I’m going to go through each category and give you some questions to get the flow going. Play with this – take your time;
Time is of absolutely no consequence when you are doing the healing work directed toward inner growth.
~ Iyanla Vanzant
Fun and Recreation: Can you remember what you really liked doing as a child, in high school, in college? Can you remember the things that made you lose track of time? Can you recall activities that you looked forward to? What are some things that you’d like to do in your life now but keep making excuses to not do? Nothing here is insignificant, all of these memories are clues to things that bring you joy.
I used to love to make mix tapes on my stereo, and rearrange my room. I would shut the door and spend hours doing this. Now as an adult I still love music and I try to make time to make mixes for friends and family, and I still rearrange things in my house! It’s my form of creativity and giving myself important time.
Friends: Who are your close friends right now? Do your friends support you unconditionally? Do you make time to do things with your friends? Are you open to making new friends? Do you participate in a girls/guys night? Does your significant other know your friends?
I don’t have a huge amount of friends and an average amount of acquaintances but I do have a very small group of very close friends that I would trust with my life. I don’t spend the kind of time I’d like to with them so recently I’ve decided to start a book club. Who knows who will join, not important; it’s the act of creating time to spend with people I like.
I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it; friends make life a lot more fun.
~ Charles R. Swindoll
Growth and Development: What do you do for yourself that promotes personal growth and personal development? When was the last time you read a good book? Took a continuing education class, attended a workshop, tended a flower or vegetable garden? Personal development is so important, it is your way of continuing to support yourself and continuing to discover new and wonderful things about yourself.
I have wanted to be more involved with photography for longer that I’d like to admit. So this summer I am going to finally take a photography class at the community college. Sometimes it is hard to find time to do these kinds of things, but I promise you it is time worth spending on yourself.
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie
which we ascribe to heaven.
~William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well
Career: This is another good one to go back to your youngest years. What did you want to be “when you grew up”, back in elementary school, high school and college? Were there classes, topics or activities you loved? Is there information you’re particularly good at (like remembering names, numbers, formulas, associations, or being exceptional organized, creative or motivating)? And – like the fun and recreation category – is there something you like doing that you lose track of time doing? We spend a lot of our life working don’t you feel it’s something you should enjoy?
For example, I can remember a class in college that we were supposed to pick something we really loved doing and then try to turn it into a career. So many people had very specific things like cooking, math, graphic design, helping people (i.e. a doctor)… I picked talking! I was embarrassed actually because it seemed to general a quality and frankly not very creative and I really had no idea how to make it into a career (neither did anyone else in the class). But now as a coach and a mediator it is more than obvious that I use that skill every day and in very important ways to accomplish my job, and I love it.
“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
– Dale Carnegie
Everyday is another opportunity to grow, to love yourself and others more. We forget how precious life is, with so much going on in our lives. Our stress grows and we feel out of control and we think that by getting love from others, we will feel more love for ourselves, but this is backwards, only through loving our selves will we get all the love we will ever need from those around us.
Searching is half the fun: life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party.
~ Jimmy Buffett
Building a Love Affair Part 2