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Fool or Foolish?

Me on my precipice! Greece 2009 By KMH

Chance is the fool‘s name for Fate
Fred Astaire

The fool can bring to mind lots of images both positive and negative, which begs the distinction between the archetypal fool and being foolish.

“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”
William Shakespeare

In coaching as we journey toward the life we want and the fulfillment we deserve there are risks to be taken and leaps of faith to be made.

Weather it be at the moment that you must write (or not write) the check for a new office lease or take (or not take) the job offer in another country, say yes (or no) to a marriage proposal or take (or not take) the opportunity to study with a well known violinist; there are pivotal choices we make that change the direction of our path.

“To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution”
Marcus Aurelius

The Fool has the characteristics of doing these things not out of abandon or recklessness but from a posture of having followed his/her intuition closely and deep trust. Consider the image of the fool in our culture:

The fool in a deck of cards is the “ jokers wild card” it allows your next move to be outside the normal rules of play – thus allowing you to turn the tide of the game in your favor, or to stymie your opponent.

The fool as in the “jester of the court” of a king was an important person. Though he did function as entertainer and magician he was a stealthy tool for the King in that because of his status and knowledge of the castle he could go anywhere openly and more than likely had intimate knowledge of the workings of the castle and the people in it.  For a king he would be invaluable counsel.

The fool in the Tarot is often a young person seen traveling and seemingly about to take a step off the steep precipice.  He radiates a “crazy wisdom” and glowing and being at ease in the world.  This card is the number 0 in the deck and symbolizes that he can become anything.

QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK:
Are you being foolish in your life anywhere?  Can you see places in your life that could benefit from trusting more?  Where could you use a “wild card” in your life?

 

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Here’s to the Fool’s!!

Fools!! By KMH

This month is dedicated to the Fool! The fool is an archetypal image that symbolizes many things including free spirit, incredible trust, taking leaps of faith and marching to your own beat.

“The secret to life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to… and the most important thing is – it must be something you cannot possibly do!”
~ Henry Moore – English sculptor and artist

In many ways the fool can be seen as an innocent mind open to being lead by a benevolent universe. When it comes to coaching I think the fool can be used as a powerful tool to bring out, capitalize and nurture parts of your personality that may not get much attention, but are important and critical aspects to creating the life you want.

What parts of you are innocent – meaning filled with child-like wonder, curiosity and in-the moment awareness? What parts of you are free spirited and able to take leaps of faith? What parts of you are able to freely trust and do your own thing when others are following “the way it’s always been”?

“What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.”
Theodore Roethke – American Poet

The fool is a part of you that says; I’ve never tried it but I’ll give it a shot. If you are to accomplish the life you want, more than likely it will involve trying some new things, going out on a limb, taking some risk, believing in yourself – that you can reach a goal bigger than you.

You can do it!!

QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK:
This week find that child-like wonder about the world, your everyday life. What can you look at in a new way? How can you trust yourself even more that you are on the right path to life you deserve?

 

Building a Love Affair – Part 1

The Mosaic of you... by KMH Sagrada Familia, Barcelona

A love affair with yourself, what would it look like? A relationship of any kind with anyone is made up of so many things, but often a few things stand out.  The way they smile at you, how they hold your hand, their laugh, or their eyes. Also attributes that you don’t think you have so you see it in them: their self confidence, humor, ability to see the bright side of a situation or being strong in places you feel doubtful. Discover these things about yourself; if you’re having a hard time ask some trusted friends about the things they love about you; anything to start to see the wonderful things about yourself.

When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there.  ~Cecil Selig

As I have said before the categories on the Wheel of Life can be an amazing tool for self-knowledge, self-improvement, building self-love and ultimately a basic start of a map to a fulfilling life. I’m going to go through each category and give you some questions to get the flow going. Play with this – take your time;

Time is of absolutely no consequence when you are doing the healing work directed toward inner growth.
~ Iyanla Vanzant

 

Fun and Recreation: Can you remember what you really liked doing as a child, in high school, in college?  Can you remember the things that made you lose track of time? Can you recall activities that you looked forward to? What are some things that you’d like to do in your life now but keep making excuses to not do? Nothing here is insignificant, all of these memories are clues to things that bring you joy.

I used to love to make mix tapes on my stereo, and rearrange my room. I would shut the door and spend hours doing this. Now as an adult I still love music and I try to make time to make mixes for friends and family, and I still rearrange things in my house! It’s my form of creativity and giving myself important time.

 

Friends: Who are your close friends right now? Do your friends support you unconditionally? Do you make time to do things with your friends? Are you open to making new friends? Do you participate in a girls/guys night? Does your significant other know your friends?

I don’t have a huge amount of friends and an average amount of acquaintances but I do have a very small group of very close friends that I would trust with my life. I don’t spend the kind of time I’d like to with them so recently I’ve decided to start a book club. Who knows who will join, not important; it’s the act of creating time to spend with people I like.

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it; friends make life a lot more fun.
~ Charles R. Swindoll

Growth and Development: What do you do for yourself that promotes personal growth and personal development? When was the last time you read a good book? Took a continuing education class, attended a workshop, tended a flower or vegetable garden?  Personal development is so important, it is your way of continuing to support yourself and continuing to discover new and wonderful things about yourself.

I have wanted to be more involved with photography for longer that I’d like to admit. So this summer I am going to finally take a photography class at the community college. Sometimes it is hard to find time to do these kinds of things, but I promise you it is time worth spending on yourself.

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie
which we ascribe to heaven.
~William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well

Career: This is another good one to go back to your youngest years. What did you want to be “when you grew up”, back in elementary school, high school and college? Were there classes, topics or activities you loved?  Is there information you’re particularly good at (like remembering names, numbers, formulas, associations, or being exceptional organized, creative or motivating)? And  – like the fun and recreation category – is there something you like doing that you lose track of time doing? We spend a lot of our life working don’t you feel it’s something you should enjoy?

For example, I can remember a class in college that we were supposed to pick something we really loved doing and then try to turn it into a career. So many people had very specific things like cooking, math, graphic design, helping people (i.e. a doctor)… I picked talking! I was embarrassed actually because it seemed to general a quality and frankly not very creative and I really had no idea how to make it into a career (neither did anyone else in the class). But now as a coach and a mediator it is more than obvious that I use that skill every day and in very important ways to accomplish my job, and I love it.

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
– Dale Carnegie

Everyday is another opportunity to grow, to love yourself and others more.  We forget how precious life is, with so much going on in our lives. Our stress grows and we feel out of control and we think that by getting love from others, we will feel more love for ourselves, but this is backwards, only through loving our selves will we get all the love we will ever need from those around us.

Searching is half the fun: life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party.
~ Jimmy Buffett

 

NEXT WEEK:
Building a Love Affair Part 2